Solveiiiga on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/solveiiiga/art/I-m-Sol-without-soul-393957887Solveiiiga

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I'm Sol without soul

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Description

There is a story behind this shot.
It took a year for me to look like this. To look like I am dead inside. Person who saw me twice, 7months between it, told me that I lost my sparkle. And my eyes just shout "let me out of here". For a year I live in city with 8 million inhabitants, but i never ever felt so alone. I live a year here, and I still have no close friends, no family, even my man is away. I hate my daily life. I hate that behind my back, at work, every day I hear "smile, be happy, smileee". I do smile, 4-8hours per day I give away my last smile to people who even doesn't care. Every day after work I feel soo empty and I dont have were to "charge" myself.. And i have no one to hug, to kiss, to cry when im back "home". Home which isn't even close to real home feeling. Siting all day on my own, planing my life and actually going nowhere with that plan.
I took my own decision to live on my own in foreign country. But now i regret when i see what im starting to become. I didn't plan to be mentally abused at work, I didn't plan to have no money, I didn't that uni will reject me, I didn't even plan to live in THIS city. I know that smartest and strongest survive, but im starting to doubt that im not one of them.
And from this month im starting to count second year here. Always asking myself if i will survive.
Image size
2736x3648px 6.99 MB
Make
NIKON
Model
COOLPIX P80
Shutter Speed
1/60 second
Aperture
F/2.8
Focal Length
5 mm
ISO Speed
100
Date Taken
Nov 30, 1999, 12:00:00 AM
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Comments3
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estachos's avatar
maybe there is something or someone who can help You to find that sparkle again. You still have amazing power in Your eyes, even if You don't see it now. I know You'll find your peace, your home, job which will be pure joy to You. I believe that You'll survive and be very very happy :)